A somewhat typical morning in my house….

7:27 am wake up to dog barking. Normally I’d hush him but he’s been ill, so push myself out of bed, bleary eyed, wondering at the amazing, unfailing idiosyncrasy that means *something* always wakes me up before 7:30 on the weekends yet some weekdays I’ve managed to sleep ’til 8.

7:28 am almost take a header down the stairs over the carpet cleaner I left at the top of the stairs. doh!

7:30 am back in bed hoping somehow the laws of the universe will permit a few more minutes of even semi-consciousness

7:35 am “Hi mummy!” – The Child bounds into my room & crawls into my bed supposedly to snuggle but really to squirm.

7:40 am enough of this. Pushing The Child out of bed, I give up, get up and pull on some clothes. The first priority now that I’ve acknowledged being awake is getting the coffee going. While that’s perking, I get to take the dog crate outside to hose it down – I live a life of glamour I tell you!

7:45 First cup of coffee. The Child starts in with the litany of questions and demands. Here’s a sample of our conversation:

TC: Can we watch Spiderman?

me: No.

TC But you said we could watch it on the weekend! It’s the weekend!

me: Have I *had* my coffee yet? Do you get to bug mummy for things before she’s had her coffee?

TC: *whining commences*

me: The Look

TC wisely turns on the tv and backs off momentarily

7:46 “Mummy I’m hungry!”
*sigh* I’d of course *just* sat down! Make The Child a toasted bagel with butter. “I didn’t WANT it toasted”. Of course not. The coffee hasn’t fully kicked in so rather than dealing with more whining I butter an untoasted bagel for him & take the toasted one for myself.

7:47 Dog fails to let me know he needs out again. Out comes the carpet cleaner, the paper towel, the rubber gloves. joy.

7:48 “I don’t want the rest of my bagel Mummy”. Of course not!

8:00 ish 2nd cup of coffee

I gave up keeping such close track at that point, but I *can* tell you that before 9 am, I consumed 3 big mugs of coffee, kiddo 1/2 a bagel & a chocolate-chip oatmeal bar, the bathroom counter & floor got a quick wipe down, and dog got hosed down and I’d managed to do some job searching. Yep, a life of relaxation and glamour I tell ya!


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