Boy have I been absent from here! To make a very long story short, for anyone still following this thing who doesn’t already know, I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis this summer. It’s not been a fun few months, and I don’t seem to be responding yet to the meds, which is frustrating.
Learning to live with chronic pain and fatigue has been extremely challenging. My limits can vary greatly from day-to-day, making it hard to plan. I’ve been off work for about five months now, and that was a surprisingly difficult adjustment. I bet many people think they’d welcome such a break from their jobs, but trust me, it has NOT been a vacation! Doctor appointments, specialist appointments, blood work, testing, fighting with the insurance company, on top of trying to cope with daily life when suddenly every task has become so much harder, when many taken for granted things have become difficult or even impossible. Something as simple as walking can cause me a great deal of pain, and my main hobbies of reading, photography and knitting have become things I have to really limit in my day, even having days where holding a book, a camera, or trying to work a few stitches is too much.
I had a couple of good weeks in the early Fall and I’m thankful I got a bit of a break. I’m disappointed to be struggling as much as I am now and for the moment the doctors are unsure how much is weather related, how much is the RA, and how much is perhaps something else.
Learning to “roll with it” is not easy for me. I am big on Control and Plans and Taking Charge. I believe in hard work, in “pulling up your socks”, in 3 month plans, in 5 year plans, in saving for a rainy day … and life is just laughing at me right now it feels like! Hopefully soon I’ll get to the point where I can laugh back at life more!
